oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
