Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
