Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
