Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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