I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
