NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
