umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
