the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
