dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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