I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
