Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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