Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
