I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
