sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
