I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
