Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
