Hey man sorry I got all grabby
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
