the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
