some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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