There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
