Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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