she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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