I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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