She announced her abortion via fbk
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
