Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
