I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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