Don't make out with my wife yet
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
