Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
