Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
