I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
