He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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