At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
