I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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