where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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