Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
