marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
