Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
