Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
