i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
