I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
