So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
