Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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