I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
