how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
