I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
