About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
