haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
