i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
