The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
