what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
