she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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