Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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